Good Friday thoughts

I've had a curious Good Friday, leaving me with some odd questions/feelings.

This morning I went with 2 or 3 others to the Churches Together in Kidderminster Good Friday walk. As we were preparing to set off I found myself "volunteering" to carry the cross and a number of things occurred to me.

Firstly I thought that the cross I had to carry was just a little (OK, a lot) tame. The wood was lightweight and very smoothly finished. Not too big and actually quite easy to carry. And that is where my problems started. It all just seemed to nice, sterile & lightweight - it could have been worse of course - had it been on wheels (I've seen that before) I probably would have refused the job. I guess that for their purposes you'd want something that makes it easier to find a cross-carrying volunteer. I just think that's all too easy. In such litigious days it wouldn't make sense to have splintering heavy Oak - health & safety & all that.

As I started leading the procession, it occurred to me that I really wasn't worthy of such an honour. To represent Jesus in such a way with me being, well, me basically. Sure, I know that I'm made worthy through the very sacrifice I was representing, but it just felt an odd mixture of privilege, honour and maybe just a hint of feeling a fraud (emphasis on feeling, not believing).

As I was pondering this, it also occurred to me that in many ways I deserved to carry the cross. Not going to the opposite extreme, believing that I am as good as Jesus, but believing that as the cross represents death then that is what I deserve. The wages of sin is death and without the grace of God and the sacrifice of Jesus that is exactly what I'd deserve.

Sheep, snakes, doves & wolves

I'm continuing with my devotional studies that I started at the beginning of the year. No books or aids other than my NASB study Bible notes. Making my way through the Gospels to look more closely at what Jesus did & said. It really has been quite interesting, to the point where I have actually kept up with it, but seem to be making very slow progress as I'm taking just a few verses, sometimes just one, at a time.

I've been finding lots of those bits that I must have read a thousand times before but never noticed until now, or seen in a completely new way. This includes Matthew 10:16 which I was looking at last night. I tend to read as much as I think will give me thoughts to write to fill a page of my A5 page-a-day diary... This was a 1 verse special

"Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves; so be shrewd as serpents and innocent as doves."

This is not a 'new' passage - I've heard/read it many times before. But would we really be sent as sheep amongst wolves? That must surely be fatal? But maybe some of us will face a mauling in whatever way that may be? Maybe we need to be prepared to be that vulnerable?

It also looks like a heady mix of metaphors with 5 animals in 1 verse (if you have to ask about the hidden 5th animal, be prepared for typical appalling Dave Jones humour). I've often had this niggling problem with the idea of being 'shrewd as serpents'. It almost seems to imply a sneakiness which must surely be un-Godly. Especially as the serpent has such negative implications from the fall of man in Genesis. Not like dove-like innocence; that's an easy one. But giving it some real thought it seems that the shady biblical history of serpents may have skewed my word recognition.

"Shrewd: astute: marked by practical hardheaded intelligence; "a smart businessman"; "an astute tenant always reads the small print in a lease"

Shrewd is not really being sneaky like I may have assumed. Just clever or having your wits about you, but in combination with dove-like innocence.

So now that makes the sheep/wolf thing clearer - combining the serpent & dove aspects can make us less vulnerable when we go out amongst the wolves - but that won't ever make it less scary if we're doing right.

The passing of a great man

I'm a big fan of music. I have very varied tastes and I have a big "Christian" music collection but in recent years have become far more discerning.
There are just one or 2 Christian artists I will go out of my way to get. Glen Kaiser and his many projects, Darrell Mansfield and the legend that is Larry Norman. I never did get the oportunity to see Larry in concert having once travelled by train & ferry from London to Belfast for a concert that was cancelled at last minute due to his health - he was replaced by Phil & John who I have seen more times than I care to remember!
Larry Norman struggled for the last 10 years or so with heart problems. He lost the fight last Sunday and is now in a much better place. I hope I meet him sometime when I get there, he was after all "only visiting this planet"

Encouragement or truth?

Whilst staying home suffering severe man-flu (that's the lowest form of flu for the uninitiated) thinking that it would have been far more sensible if I'd taken a couple days off sick this week, I got watching Ironside on TV



I often like watching cheesy 70's detective dramas, although no-one comes close to that all time detective hero Columbo.


There was one line that someone used, I can't even remember the context but it's been running through my head all day. Ironside, our brave but wheelchair bound detective was discussing a predicament with a colleague. He made made it clear that the situation wasn't good, to which his colleague replied

"I was hoping for encouragement - not the truth!"

It made me think of the way that attitude is lived out in our lives, including those of us in Church. For some it's the insistance that they want it all to be very simple which can often just descend into intellectual laziness (Jesus did say to love the lord with all your mind Matthew 22 v 37).


Often we just block out the stuff that makes us uncomfortable even when we know it's true. Instead we want to be encouraged, to feel good about ourselves, have a little bit of self belief no matter what it may be based on. It reminded of a verse in 2 Timothy (4v3)

"For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but wanting to have their ears tickled, they will accumulate for themselves teachers in accordance to their own desires"

I hope that I will look for the truth, even if it's uncomfortable, even painful.

A question of perfection?

I've been meaning to write a new blog all year!

I decided at the end of last year that starting on January 1st I would start going through the Gospels a few verses at a time to study the words and deeds of Jesus. It's kind of been on my to-do list for quite a while now, so on December 31st I bought a page-a-day A5 diary to make notes and have been keeping up well. If I had the time I'd write most of them up here.

There are 2 things that have become apparent. One of which is a rather interesting trend in my thoughts & writings, the other is re-visiting an old conundrum...

The trend I've noticed is how few answers I've found and the far greater number of questions. I've only just got to the end of Matthew chapter 5 so I've just been starting on the Sermon on the Mount. Some new questions have arisen in my mind and some new understanding on the beattitudes. I'm now going through the next batch of teaching including the really interesting series of "you've heard it said..." followed by "but I tell you..." That is an under preached, under taught part of the Gospels.

The old conundrum is the last verse of Matthew 5: "Be perfect, just as your Heavenly Father is perfect". I was half tempted to skip over it last night. Would it be too much or not enough to handle? I mean it's just 1 verse at the end of the chapter kind of dangling after those you've heard it said/I tell you bits. It's also an idea I re-visit every so often. As I chewed it over during the day I decided that it was worth going over again.

I've long pondered the possibilty of perfection. Jesus says we should be perfect, 1 Thessalonians 5 says we may be preserved blameless, yet we all seem to accept that we cannot become perfect. I've longed held that perfection is possible but felt uncomfortable with the idea, like I may fooling myself. To make matters worse, believing that perfection isn't possible makes at least as uncomfortable.

So here's my latest conclusion - which I think has a good balance...

• Percfection is possible. There is no reason why you cannot live from this moment on without sinning. Paul wrote in Corinthinians that there is no temptation that isn't common to man and that God always gives a way out of it. To say that sin is inevitable just gives us an excuse.
• But possible is not the same as probable. For example - there is a temperature (-273 degrees C) that you cannot go below and at which all sub-atomic activity ceases. Noone has achieved that temperature yet, but we're quite sure that that is the case.
• I believe that I could live the rest of my life from this moment without sinning. I also believe that this is unlikely.

I don't think that in saying "be perfect" Jesus is setting an impossible task that will just make us give up when we keep failing. But I do believe that we should always aim for perfection. That when we fail we shouldn't mope or moan but put it behind us (as God does) and keep aiming for the best

The only alternative to this is to write our failings of with the old excuses such as "nobody's perfect" or "I'm only human". The tricky bit is getting the balance right between beating yourself up over messing up (never good or healthy) and accepting second best (or worse).

I'd like to say that if I ever achieved perfection I'd let you al know - but I guess I'd be too humble to tell you!

He giveth & giveth & giveth & giveth...

There have been some rather trying situations for some my friends at church recently. We had an ad-hoc prayer meeting on Sunday where we used the song 'He giveth more grace as our burdens grow greater'

This has been particularly special for me since my mum died of cancer back in 2000. She really struggled with her faith until her last few weeks. This song was used at her funeral and memorial servces but what really struck me then and still does now, even though all the words seem powerful, is the sond verse:

When we have exhausted our store of endurance,
When our strength is failed ere the day is half-done,
When we reach the end of our hoarded resources
Our Father's full giving is only begun.

Whenever I read or sing this I wonder when I'm really going to believe it. I know that it's true in the theological / theoretical sense, but belief that puts it in action is often something quite different.

One of the many conclusions that I've come to recently, due in part to my reading material, is that if we want to see miracles such as healing, miraculous provision and even salvation, then we need to have given everything. It occurs to me that it's only when we know we have nothing left to give and that we can do no more than rely on God for a miracle, that He steps in.

It makes sense I guess. Why should God do the miraculous just to make life easier?

Money & sex

I've been doing more of that uncomfortable reading lately. Not the warm fuzzy 'bless me' material. More the 'ouch that's gonna hurt' type that challenges your whole lifestyle. It started recently with “The Irresistible Revolution” by Shane Claibourne & then I finally got round to reading a book by Jim Wallis called “The Call to Conversion” which asks for a more holistic ideal of conversion (only on 3rd chapter so far). They both do a great job in convincing me that our whole way of selfish so-called freedom is so often at the expense of or possibly just ignorant of the starving & suffering elsewhere. We Christians then make matters worse by failing to recognise this, making religion about experiences and abstract moral rules, but only some areas of morality.

I guess we can't just blame the big corporations or governments. We still buy all the goods we believe we are entitled to with barely a thought to where they come from or what cost they've been to the workers or to the planet or even to our own bank balances or indebtedness to more big corporations.

It's nearly Christmas & I'm as bad as the next man, woman or child at coming up with lame reasons (sorry, excuses) why I must, ought or deserve to have some great gadget. Including the laptop I'm writing on now. We no longer tolerate not getting what we feel we deserve and this train of thought led me to an interesting conclusion which, like many of my 'conclusions' needs to still be thought out a little more.

It seems to me that what we often refer to as the moral decline of the 'world' is really quite closely linked to our excessive, selfish consumerism. If we can turn a blind eye the philosophy that says “we want, we deserve it – to hell with the cost” and ignore the greater costs as well as our own indebtedness, then how on earth can we expect anyone without Christ to say no to anything that they want.

We even find people in the church (although I wonder why that's such a surprise) that also see things this way. The old (but certainly not defunct) ideals of commitment to marriage, sexual morality and honesty can easily go out the window. If we can buy what we like regardless of cost, then why can't we have whatever person we want regardless of cost (to us or others)? So it seems to me that social ethics, sexual morality, honesty and commercial/financial ethics are all linked. Ignoring any of them is sin. If the church looks only at some and neglects the rest then maybe, just maybe the whole thing falls apart anyway.