Me & the puffins

Those that know me will know that I have a liking for puffins. For watching / looking at puffins, not eating them as they don't taste that good (yes, I really have tried).

Anyhow, I've wondered for a while if there was any particular reason why and having recently returned from a puffin watching holiday, I think I've remembered at least some of the reasons. I see some areas of similarity between me & the puffin, as well as some areas of difference.

Have you ever watched a puffin take of or land? Not for them the graceful flight or powerful soaring of eagles. Take-off's appear to resemble throwing yourself off the edge of the cliff and then flapping for all you're worth. Landing appears to be stopping yourself by sticking your feet out as you hit the nearest rock or entering your burrow bottom-first. No grace, no obvious display of power or majestic swooping. The apparent throw yourself off the cliff, flap like fury to fly, land by hitting something solid to land technique quite clearly ought not to work. They're often called the clowns of the air and it's easy to see why.

I guess the reason I can associate with this is that I often feel like I'm flapping furiously, lacking graceful majesty or obvious power. As I spent an extraordinary length of time (and vast amounts of film) observing my comical friends a few years ago on the Treshnish Isles, off Mull, it occurred to me that these creatures really don't appear to belong in the sky. They just look so out of place.

I often feel as though I'm a bit of a fraud. Somehow, I do the equivalent of throwing myself off the cliff, landing by hitting solid ground, flapping like whatever in between and somehow getting away with it. I don't deserve to be where I am now. I ought to have failed far more spectacularly. I see the many greater people around, many of them good friends, and I see more eagle-like soaring and I assume (rightly or wrongly) through their greater ability or competence. Then I look at the good stuff, where I have succeeded or at least got away with it, and I wonder how on earth I've done as well as I have.

If I'm being realistic, I guess that my image of others soaring eagle-like may actually be less realistic than I imagine. But that shouldn't stop me trying. I may not be an eagle, but I could be a better puffin.

Friends

Life is hectic, but at last I get back to my blogging - but so much to say so little time!

I've been thinking a lot about friends recently. This was in no small part down to meeting up with an old friend that I hadn't seen since my London days, Martin Weaver. It was so good to catch up, share stories etc.

It made me realise that I really don't have many 'quality' friends where I am now. I'm a bloke, therefore I try to fool myself into thinking that I don't need close friends, but as I've taken the time to look back I've realised that there are some friendships that maybe I either didn't realise how good friends they were or how good it was to have them as friends.

I've also just finished finished reading Jeff Lucas' book "Going Public" which looks at the life of Elijah. When he looked at the relationship between Elijah and Elisha, he saw that it was as teacher/pupil, master/disciple and probably most importantly as friends. I miss that. But maybe I won't see the extent of my current 'local' friendships until I move on again.

I also got an invite to my friend Tracey-Anne's birthday bash which happens to be at the beginning of a holiday week or so. So I got to thinking that this year I will catch up with all my old friends - a kind of 'friends tour'. Some I haven't seen for 7 years or more.

If you're a friend & you don't mind/might tolerate/would like a visit from us - let us know & we'll add to our friends tour agenda.

Philosophical ramblings

I've been having a rather philosophical moment or two.
I spent today ferrying my lovely wife to Bolton for a course. Once I got back I thought that as I'd spent all day in the car, I'd walk to church for music practice. This led to one of those allegedly random encounters along the canal tow-path. There was a woman, clearly in need of assistance who asked if she needed to call an ambulance. Beside the canal was a woman clearly distressed and even more clearly wet. She'd apparently just crawled out of the canal and said she wanted to die. The ambulance was called, and being next to Tesco, I went in to get something warm for the nearly drowned woman. The ambulance was amazingly quick. They and the police were there in no time at all, with the police trying to stop the woman jumping in again.
It was reassuring to see someone stopping to help. But it also made me think of how easy it is to ignore the distressed, hurt & dying around us. The rescuer lady was clearly upset. But maybe that's OK. Maybe it's better to be vulnerable, allowing ourselves to be hurt or even have our hearts broken if the alternative is to be numb & not feel anything. Then to be able to experience real joy also. To know that you're alive.
It puts my mind back to hearing General John Gowans speaking one time. He said that what surprised him was not how few people turn to Jesus, but how many did. It seems to me that we often sell people a 'lovely' Gospel that says everything will be OK. I've also been chewing over some the other dishonest (if that's not too strong a word) stuff we say or sing.
When I were a lad, I went to a SABAC group (Salvation Army Boys Adventure Corps). There was a SABAC prayer that said:
“Lord Jesus, help me to discover you as the Way, the Truth and the Life and to find for myself that following you is the greatest adventure of all.”
We litter our songs with other such claims and yet at the same time we (and I definitely include myself in this) sanitise our faith, making it safe and easy to handle. On the other hand we also sing songs like “following Jesus is fun” which although is often true, can also be misleading.
I just hope I can continue to be the person that stops to help the distressed. Even when it makes me late for band practice. That maybe I'll even go looking for them – I know they'll be there

Good Friday thoughts

I've had a curious Good Friday, leaving me with some odd questions/feelings.

This morning I went with 2 or 3 others to the Churches Together in Kidderminster Good Friday walk. As we were preparing to set off I found myself "volunteering" to carry the cross and a number of things occurred to me.

Firstly I thought that the cross I had to carry was just a little (OK, a lot) tame. The wood was lightweight and very smoothly finished. Not too big and actually quite easy to carry. And that is where my problems started. It all just seemed to nice, sterile & lightweight - it could have been worse of course - had it been on wheels (I've seen that before) I probably would have refused the job. I guess that for their purposes you'd want something that makes it easier to find a cross-carrying volunteer. I just think that's all too easy. In such litigious days it wouldn't make sense to have splintering heavy Oak - health & safety & all that.

As I started leading the procession, it occurred to me that I really wasn't worthy of such an honour. To represent Jesus in such a way with me being, well, me basically. Sure, I know that I'm made worthy through the very sacrifice I was representing, but it just felt an odd mixture of privilege, honour and maybe just a hint of feeling a fraud (emphasis on feeling, not believing).

As I was pondering this, it also occurred to me that in many ways I deserved to carry the cross. Not going to the opposite extreme, believing that I am as good as Jesus, but believing that as the cross represents death then that is what I deserve. The wages of sin is death and without the grace of God and the sacrifice of Jesus that is exactly what I'd deserve.

Sheep, snakes, doves & wolves

I'm continuing with my devotional studies that I started at the beginning of the year. No books or aids other than my NASB study Bible notes. Making my way through the Gospels to look more closely at what Jesus did & said. It really has been quite interesting, to the point where I have actually kept up with it, but seem to be making very slow progress as I'm taking just a few verses, sometimes just one, at a time.

I've been finding lots of those bits that I must have read a thousand times before but never noticed until now, or seen in a completely new way. This includes Matthew 10:16 which I was looking at last night. I tend to read as much as I think will give me thoughts to write to fill a page of my A5 page-a-day diary... This was a 1 verse special

"Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves; so be shrewd as serpents and innocent as doves."

This is not a 'new' passage - I've heard/read it many times before. But would we really be sent as sheep amongst wolves? That must surely be fatal? But maybe some of us will face a mauling in whatever way that may be? Maybe we need to be prepared to be that vulnerable?

It also looks like a heady mix of metaphors with 5 animals in 1 verse (if you have to ask about the hidden 5th animal, be prepared for typical appalling Dave Jones humour). I've often had this niggling problem with the idea of being 'shrewd as serpents'. It almost seems to imply a sneakiness which must surely be un-Godly. Especially as the serpent has such negative implications from the fall of man in Genesis. Not like dove-like innocence; that's an easy one. But giving it some real thought it seems that the shady biblical history of serpents may have skewed my word recognition.

"Shrewd: astute: marked by practical hardheaded intelligence; "a smart businessman"; "an astute tenant always reads the small print in a lease"

Shrewd is not really being sneaky like I may have assumed. Just clever or having your wits about you, but in combination with dove-like innocence.

So now that makes the sheep/wolf thing clearer - combining the serpent & dove aspects can make us less vulnerable when we go out amongst the wolves - but that won't ever make it less scary if we're doing right.

The passing of a great man

I'm a big fan of music. I have very varied tastes and I have a big "Christian" music collection but in recent years have become far more discerning.
There are just one or 2 Christian artists I will go out of my way to get. Glen Kaiser and his many projects, Darrell Mansfield and the legend that is Larry Norman. I never did get the oportunity to see Larry in concert having once travelled by train & ferry from London to Belfast for a concert that was cancelled at last minute due to his health - he was replaced by Phil & John who I have seen more times than I care to remember!
Larry Norman struggled for the last 10 years or so with heart problems. He lost the fight last Sunday and is now in a much better place. I hope I meet him sometime when I get there, he was after all "only visiting this planet"

Encouragement or truth?

Whilst staying home suffering severe man-flu (that's the lowest form of flu for the uninitiated) thinking that it would have been far more sensible if I'd taken a couple days off sick this week, I got watching Ironside on TV



I often like watching cheesy 70's detective dramas, although no-one comes close to that all time detective hero Columbo.


There was one line that someone used, I can't even remember the context but it's been running through my head all day. Ironside, our brave but wheelchair bound detective was discussing a predicament with a colleague. He made made it clear that the situation wasn't good, to which his colleague replied

"I was hoping for encouragement - not the truth!"

It made me think of the way that attitude is lived out in our lives, including those of us in Church. For some it's the insistance that they want it all to be very simple which can often just descend into intellectual laziness (Jesus did say to love the lord with all your mind Matthew 22 v 37).


Often we just block out the stuff that makes us uncomfortable even when we know it's true. Instead we want to be encouraged, to feel good about ourselves, have a little bit of self belief no matter what it may be based on. It reminded of a verse in 2 Timothy (4v3)

"For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but wanting to have their ears tickled, they will accumulate for themselves teachers in accordance to their own desires"

I hope that I will look for the truth, even if it's uncomfortable, even painful.