Christmas thoughts

It seems that the last couple of years I've had new takes on Christmas; on what it can and maybe should mean. This being despite what has felt like my busiest season for quite some time, and in part triggered by the realisation that on the first day of one of my 3 non-stop weeks, I managed to pass through Birmingham Snow Hill train station going back to work about 9-10 hours after passing on the way home the previous night. That was a work-busy week followed by 2 church-busy weeks.

One great illustration I am in danger of over using at Christmas came from Alan Norton (not sure where he got it from). It involves getting people to imagine in great detail their perfect Christmas present, then expecting them to thank you because as we all know, it's the thought that counts.

Then I got on to thinking how for some, maybe most people, Christmas is maybe a little disappointing. The hype somehow doesn't match reality. It occurred to me that maybe we have a "it's the thought that counts" mentality. Or maybe it's down to expecting to get a lot, even giving to get if need be.

Maybe we can feel the same about Christ as well as Christmas. It promises peace on earth and goodwill to all men. We don't see that in the way we expect. It isn't that we expect too much of God Incarnate, it's that we expect the wrong thing. It seems to me that we expect Jesus' bringing peace & goodwill to be a do-it-all service when it isn't like that.

It occurred to me that rather than just turning up and in a Disney-esque manner to magic up an idyllic society of love, peace & security, Jesus perfectly demonstrated what this would look like and what it would cost. Peace on earth means we have to not hate or hold grudges - whatever is thrown at us - it's what Jesus did after all. Goodwill to all means that we have to give of ourselves to help all, even the very least & very worst. That's what Jesus did. He didn't give to the deserving only, He just gave everything. Even it meant His own death.

So this Christmas, I hope you know the peace and goodwill that Jesus brings. And the strength to live in peace and goodness o fellow man.

A new take on an old song

As I think I mentioned earlier in the year, I decided at the beginning of this year to study the Gospels, reading every day to get through them all in a year and making notes in a page-a-day diary. It appears it will take more than a year though, as I'm currently just starting chapter 26 of Matthew.

This, of course, means I've just finished chapter 25 and that scarily familiar passage about the judgement being where the 'Son of Man' seperates like the sheep from the goats with the main message being that "to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me" (verses 40 & 45 NASB). This has been getting under my skin for a while now, aided and abbetted by writers who talk of seeing Jesus in "His most distressing disguises".

Whilst pondering this at a Bible study the other night (it wasn't the subject at hand, but I was drifting as always), an old chorus popped into my head. It's taken on a completely new meaning for me:

Open our eyes, lord,
We want to see Jesus,
To reach out and
touch Him
And say that we love Him.
Open our ears, Lord,
And help us
to listen.
Open our eyes, Lord,
We want to see Jesus.

I can't help but think that the next time I hear this sung, I'll want to take them by the hand to where the homeless, starving, social outcast's and other "least of these" live and say "There you go; reach out and touch them, tell them that you them, listen to them, feed them, clothe them, visit them."

Maybe this chorus isn't so 'nice' anymore. But it is more challenging!

Me & my big mouth!

Anyone who knows me will by now have realised that I have congenital verbal diarrhea. I often speak without thinking first and therefore I also have chronic foot-in-mouth disease.

Yesterday in Church as we stood to sing I moved, as I often do, to enable the person behind to see the projected song words. The leader saw that a few of us had done that and said that if we wanted to dance we should feel free to do so "After all... David danced before the Lord"

Without hesitation I responded "Yeah! but he was naked!"
I've been smiling ever since. But alas I was wrong... Having just looked it up it appears he was wearing his pants.

2 Samuel 6:14 (NASB)
"And David was dancing before the LORD with all his might, and David was wearing a linen ephod."

A Good Church

I started composing this whilst considering my frustrations with Church. This is unlikely to be an exhaustive list and yes, I have styled it on the closing passage of proverbs which talks about "A good wife". We are Christ's bride after all. I have deliberately not used the terms 'perfect' or 'ideal' on the basis of it not existing... & our ruining it if we joined.

Please feel free to add other lines as you see fit. Or to disagree. Or to improve.

A good church – who can find?

She has a culture of honesty about her failings

She desires to worship always. And in all ways

Her sung, corporate worship is an expression of her joy in serving God in the community she lives in

She values substance over style

She desires practice over theory

She is desperate to know God, to serve God and to love His people

She upsets the comfortable and comforts the upset

Her friends & allies are the poor, the outcast, the unlovely & unloved

She does not seek change for change sake

She is intolerant of pretence, preferring even the most painful truth

She loves those who hate her and seek her destruction

She cries at injustice, and poverty, and brokenness

She wants to understand God's Kingdom. And make it real – here and now

She is both admired and feared – usually by the same people

She frequently finds herself in trouble

She survives, even thrives, by seeking others needs above her own

She loves truth and will only sing truth

She makes friends of the lowly & is regarded as an enemy by the elite

She rejects earthly riches

She fails in most, if not all of the above

She carries on anyway – to stop trying would be the greatest failure of all

All God's children will rise up & call her blessed

Frustration

Round & round & round I go
Where I stop, God only knows
Wandering, spinning my plates in the air
Wondering if my slave-drivers ever really care

I work. And I tire
I return to my home
Bush soon rush out to do Church stuff
Just need some time alone

But why do I strive? and hurry? and rush?
Why do I not see my wife nearly enough?
If I were progressing It'd really be fine
But I'm running in circles
From ridiculous to sublime

My life breaks are failing
The cables have snapped
I see my life crashing
I feel hopelessly trapped

Trapped in a church and a job
With nowhere to go
Trapped by my "speech impediment"
I'm unable to say NO

They say I have potential
But I fear my wings have been clipped
Was it them or was it me?
I must break free soon

I see a hope
I see light
I see a better way
But it's not in my comfort zone

I fear I'll fail
I fear letting others down
- those that may be left behind
I fear disappointment
But my desire for change just will not be suppressed

I must move on
- but not let people down
I must change
- but not go back (maybe?)
I cannot carry on like this
I cannot stay the same


"Meaningless! Meaningless!"
says the Teacher.
"Utterly meaningless!
Everything is meaningless."
What does man gain from all his labor
at which he toils under the sun?
Generations come and generations go,
but the earth remains forever.
The sun rises and the sun sets,
and hurries back to where it rises.
The wind blows to the south
and turns to the north;
round and round it goes,
ever returning on its course.

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.
I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live.

Faith and/in reason (delete as appropriate)

I had a nightmare journey home last Thursday, but I made the good decision to check the paper shop before heading to the station. I ended up buying a magazine I very rarely buy, the last time being at least 15-20 years ago: it was The New Scientist. I was drawn to an article or series of articles headlined as “What's wrong with reason?”. It had a heading of “seven reasons why people hate reason” inside and included Archbishop Rowan Williams as a contributor so there would be at least some non-anti-religious opinion.

This did indeed prove to be a very interesting read for the 3 hours it took to make my 20 minute journey. It was a recognition that people are steering away to some degree from science & reason and some of the reasons why. There were several honest scientists who admit that there is much wrong with “science” as it's seen by the public and the wrong done, that reason was not always reasonable and is far more limited than the early founders of the Enlightenment would have you believe. That there were & maybe still are extremes of “rationality” that are at least as extreme as any religious bigotry.

Rowan Williams said that “There was a constant risk of slipping into the conclusion... that the unreasonable human didn't count”. That this may have helped contribute toward attitudes that allowed slavery in America and post-revolution France. There needs to be something outside of “instrumental reason” to an older/pre modern rationality which puts “reasonable” into the context of community.

Another Contributor, Neuroscientist Colin Frith, put forward the idea that no-one really uses reason. Most of our computing is made sub-consciously and we then use reason to justify our decisions rather than guide them. Sociologist David Miller showed how science was abused by governments and corporations, leading to more scepticism – his article really was enlightening!

This all fits into much of what I have long thought. That Science can easily become religion, that atheism is a faith (you cannot prove God doesn't exist any more than I can prove He does) and that reason is not always reasonable. The 7th article was by philosopher Mary Midgley and was titled “Reason's just another faith”. She spoke of “scientism” as well as science – that many plausible theories are accepted as fact without absolute proof and that some believe that science can answer everything: “Science then no longer stands for enquiry but for ideology, authority, a general approach to life which demands to prevail in all conflicts: that is, it is turned into scientism.”

“The central question” she says “is about trust. In what do you put your faith?” - indeed.

Me & the puffins

Those that know me will know that I have a liking for puffins. For watching / looking at puffins, not eating them as they don't taste that good (yes, I really have tried).

Anyhow, I've wondered for a while if there was any particular reason why and having recently returned from a puffin watching holiday, I think I've remembered at least some of the reasons. I see some areas of similarity between me & the puffin, as well as some areas of difference.

Have you ever watched a puffin take of or land? Not for them the graceful flight or powerful soaring of eagles. Take-off's appear to resemble throwing yourself off the edge of the cliff and then flapping for all you're worth. Landing appears to be stopping yourself by sticking your feet out as you hit the nearest rock or entering your burrow bottom-first. No grace, no obvious display of power or majestic swooping. The apparent throw yourself off the cliff, flap like fury to fly, land by hitting something solid to land technique quite clearly ought not to work. They're often called the clowns of the air and it's easy to see why.

I guess the reason I can associate with this is that I often feel like I'm flapping furiously, lacking graceful majesty or obvious power. As I spent an extraordinary length of time (and vast amounts of film) observing my comical friends a few years ago on the Treshnish Isles, off Mull, it occurred to me that these creatures really don't appear to belong in the sky. They just look so out of place.

I often feel as though I'm a bit of a fraud. Somehow, I do the equivalent of throwing myself off the cliff, landing by hitting solid ground, flapping like whatever in between and somehow getting away with it. I don't deserve to be where I am now. I ought to have failed far more spectacularly. I see the many greater people around, many of them good friends, and I see more eagle-like soaring and I assume (rightly or wrongly) through their greater ability or competence. Then I look at the good stuff, where I have succeeded or at least got away with it, and I wonder how on earth I've done as well as I have.

If I'm being realistic, I guess that my image of others soaring eagle-like may actually be less realistic than I imagine. But that shouldn't stop me trying. I may not be an eagle, but I could be a better puffin.

Friends

Life is hectic, but at last I get back to my blogging - but so much to say so little time!

I've been thinking a lot about friends recently. This was in no small part down to meeting up with an old friend that I hadn't seen since my London days, Martin Weaver. It was so good to catch up, share stories etc.

It made me realise that I really don't have many 'quality' friends where I am now. I'm a bloke, therefore I try to fool myself into thinking that I don't need close friends, but as I've taken the time to look back I've realised that there are some friendships that maybe I either didn't realise how good friends they were or how good it was to have them as friends.

I've also just finished finished reading Jeff Lucas' book "Going Public" which looks at the life of Elijah. When he looked at the relationship between Elijah and Elisha, he saw that it was as teacher/pupil, master/disciple and probably most importantly as friends. I miss that. But maybe I won't see the extent of my current 'local' friendships until I move on again.

I also got an invite to my friend Tracey-Anne's birthday bash which happens to be at the beginning of a holiday week or so. So I got to thinking that this year I will catch up with all my old friends - a kind of 'friends tour'. Some I haven't seen for 7 years or more.

If you're a friend & you don't mind/might tolerate/would like a visit from us - let us know & we'll add to our friends tour agenda.

Philosophical ramblings

I've been having a rather philosophical moment or two.
I spent today ferrying my lovely wife to Bolton for a course. Once I got back I thought that as I'd spent all day in the car, I'd walk to church for music practice. This led to one of those allegedly random encounters along the canal tow-path. There was a woman, clearly in need of assistance who asked if she needed to call an ambulance. Beside the canal was a woman clearly distressed and even more clearly wet. She'd apparently just crawled out of the canal and said she wanted to die. The ambulance was called, and being next to Tesco, I went in to get something warm for the nearly drowned woman. The ambulance was amazingly quick. They and the police were there in no time at all, with the police trying to stop the woman jumping in again.
It was reassuring to see someone stopping to help. But it also made me think of how easy it is to ignore the distressed, hurt & dying around us. The rescuer lady was clearly upset. But maybe that's OK. Maybe it's better to be vulnerable, allowing ourselves to be hurt or even have our hearts broken if the alternative is to be numb & not feel anything. Then to be able to experience real joy also. To know that you're alive.
It puts my mind back to hearing General John Gowans speaking one time. He said that what surprised him was not how few people turn to Jesus, but how many did. It seems to me that we often sell people a 'lovely' Gospel that says everything will be OK. I've also been chewing over some the other dishonest (if that's not too strong a word) stuff we say or sing.
When I were a lad, I went to a SABAC group (Salvation Army Boys Adventure Corps). There was a SABAC prayer that said:
“Lord Jesus, help me to discover you as the Way, the Truth and the Life and to find for myself that following you is the greatest adventure of all.”
We litter our songs with other such claims and yet at the same time we (and I definitely include myself in this) sanitise our faith, making it safe and easy to handle. On the other hand we also sing songs like “following Jesus is fun” which although is often true, can also be misleading.
I just hope I can continue to be the person that stops to help the distressed. Even when it makes me late for band practice. That maybe I'll even go looking for them – I know they'll be there

Good Friday thoughts

I've had a curious Good Friday, leaving me with some odd questions/feelings.

This morning I went with 2 or 3 others to the Churches Together in Kidderminster Good Friday walk. As we were preparing to set off I found myself "volunteering" to carry the cross and a number of things occurred to me.

Firstly I thought that the cross I had to carry was just a little (OK, a lot) tame. The wood was lightweight and very smoothly finished. Not too big and actually quite easy to carry. And that is where my problems started. It all just seemed to nice, sterile & lightweight - it could have been worse of course - had it been on wheels (I've seen that before) I probably would have refused the job. I guess that for their purposes you'd want something that makes it easier to find a cross-carrying volunteer. I just think that's all too easy. In such litigious days it wouldn't make sense to have splintering heavy Oak - health & safety & all that.

As I started leading the procession, it occurred to me that I really wasn't worthy of such an honour. To represent Jesus in such a way with me being, well, me basically. Sure, I know that I'm made worthy through the very sacrifice I was representing, but it just felt an odd mixture of privilege, honour and maybe just a hint of feeling a fraud (emphasis on feeling, not believing).

As I was pondering this, it also occurred to me that in many ways I deserved to carry the cross. Not going to the opposite extreme, believing that I am as good as Jesus, but believing that as the cross represents death then that is what I deserve. The wages of sin is death and without the grace of God and the sacrifice of Jesus that is exactly what I'd deserve.

Sheep, snakes, doves & wolves

I'm continuing with my devotional studies that I started at the beginning of the year. No books or aids other than my NASB study Bible notes. Making my way through the Gospels to look more closely at what Jesus did & said. It really has been quite interesting, to the point where I have actually kept up with it, but seem to be making very slow progress as I'm taking just a few verses, sometimes just one, at a time.

I've been finding lots of those bits that I must have read a thousand times before but never noticed until now, or seen in a completely new way. This includes Matthew 10:16 which I was looking at last night. I tend to read as much as I think will give me thoughts to write to fill a page of my A5 page-a-day diary... This was a 1 verse special

"Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves; so be shrewd as serpents and innocent as doves."

This is not a 'new' passage - I've heard/read it many times before. But would we really be sent as sheep amongst wolves? That must surely be fatal? But maybe some of us will face a mauling in whatever way that may be? Maybe we need to be prepared to be that vulnerable?

It also looks like a heady mix of metaphors with 5 animals in 1 verse (if you have to ask about the hidden 5th animal, be prepared for typical appalling Dave Jones humour). I've often had this niggling problem with the idea of being 'shrewd as serpents'. It almost seems to imply a sneakiness which must surely be un-Godly. Especially as the serpent has such negative implications from the fall of man in Genesis. Not like dove-like innocence; that's an easy one. But giving it some real thought it seems that the shady biblical history of serpents may have skewed my word recognition.

"Shrewd: astute: marked by practical hardheaded intelligence; "a smart businessman"; "an astute tenant always reads the small print in a lease"

Shrewd is not really being sneaky like I may have assumed. Just clever or having your wits about you, but in combination with dove-like innocence.

So now that makes the sheep/wolf thing clearer - combining the serpent & dove aspects can make us less vulnerable when we go out amongst the wolves - but that won't ever make it less scary if we're doing right.

The passing of a great man

I'm a big fan of music. I have very varied tastes and I have a big "Christian" music collection but in recent years have become far more discerning.
There are just one or 2 Christian artists I will go out of my way to get. Glen Kaiser and his many projects, Darrell Mansfield and the legend that is Larry Norman. I never did get the oportunity to see Larry in concert having once travelled by train & ferry from London to Belfast for a concert that was cancelled at last minute due to his health - he was replaced by Phil & John who I have seen more times than I care to remember!
Larry Norman struggled for the last 10 years or so with heart problems. He lost the fight last Sunday and is now in a much better place. I hope I meet him sometime when I get there, he was after all "only visiting this planet"

Encouragement or truth?

Whilst staying home suffering severe man-flu (that's the lowest form of flu for the uninitiated) thinking that it would have been far more sensible if I'd taken a couple days off sick this week, I got watching Ironside on TV



I often like watching cheesy 70's detective dramas, although no-one comes close to that all time detective hero Columbo.


There was one line that someone used, I can't even remember the context but it's been running through my head all day. Ironside, our brave but wheelchair bound detective was discussing a predicament with a colleague. He made made it clear that the situation wasn't good, to which his colleague replied

"I was hoping for encouragement - not the truth!"

It made me think of the way that attitude is lived out in our lives, including those of us in Church. For some it's the insistance that they want it all to be very simple which can often just descend into intellectual laziness (Jesus did say to love the lord with all your mind Matthew 22 v 37).


Often we just block out the stuff that makes us uncomfortable even when we know it's true. Instead we want to be encouraged, to feel good about ourselves, have a little bit of self belief no matter what it may be based on. It reminded of a verse in 2 Timothy (4v3)

"For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but wanting to have their ears tickled, they will accumulate for themselves teachers in accordance to their own desires"

I hope that I will look for the truth, even if it's uncomfortable, even painful.

A question of perfection?

I've been meaning to write a new blog all year!

I decided at the end of last year that starting on January 1st I would start going through the Gospels a few verses at a time to study the words and deeds of Jesus. It's kind of been on my to-do list for quite a while now, so on December 31st I bought a page-a-day A5 diary to make notes and have been keeping up well. If I had the time I'd write most of them up here.

There are 2 things that have become apparent. One of which is a rather interesting trend in my thoughts & writings, the other is re-visiting an old conundrum...

The trend I've noticed is how few answers I've found and the far greater number of questions. I've only just got to the end of Matthew chapter 5 so I've just been starting on the Sermon on the Mount. Some new questions have arisen in my mind and some new understanding on the beattitudes. I'm now going through the next batch of teaching including the really interesting series of "you've heard it said..." followed by "but I tell you..." That is an under preached, under taught part of the Gospels.

The old conundrum is the last verse of Matthew 5: "Be perfect, just as your Heavenly Father is perfect". I was half tempted to skip over it last night. Would it be too much or not enough to handle? I mean it's just 1 verse at the end of the chapter kind of dangling after those you've heard it said/I tell you bits. It's also an idea I re-visit every so often. As I chewed it over during the day I decided that it was worth going over again.

I've long pondered the possibilty of perfection. Jesus says we should be perfect, 1 Thessalonians 5 says we may be preserved blameless, yet we all seem to accept that we cannot become perfect. I've longed held that perfection is possible but felt uncomfortable with the idea, like I may fooling myself. To make matters worse, believing that perfection isn't possible makes at least as uncomfortable.

So here's my latest conclusion - which I think has a good balance...

• Percfection is possible. There is no reason why you cannot live from this moment on without sinning. Paul wrote in Corinthinians that there is no temptation that isn't common to man and that God always gives a way out of it. To say that sin is inevitable just gives us an excuse.
• But possible is not the same as probable. For example - there is a temperature (-273 degrees C) that you cannot go below and at which all sub-atomic activity ceases. Noone has achieved that temperature yet, but we're quite sure that that is the case.
• I believe that I could live the rest of my life from this moment without sinning. I also believe that this is unlikely.

I don't think that in saying "be perfect" Jesus is setting an impossible task that will just make us give up when we keep failing. But I do believe that we should always aim for perfection. That when we fail we shouldn't mope or moan but put it behind us (as God does) and keep aiming for the best

The only alternative to this is to write our failings of with the old excuses such as "nobody's perfect" or "I'm only human". The tricky bit is getting the balance right between beating yourself up over messing up (never good or healthy) and accepting second best (or worse).

I'd like to say that if I ever achieved perfection I'd let you al know - but I guess I'd be too humble to tell you!