Friday 21 March 2008

Good Friday thoughts

I've had a curious Good Friday, leaving me with some odd questions/feelings.

This morning I went with 2 or 3 others to the Churches Together in Kidderminster Good Friday walk. As we were preparing to set off I found myself "volunteering" to carry the cross and a number of things occurred to me.

Firstly I thought that the cross I had to carry was just a little (OK, a lot) tame. The wood was lightweight and very smoothly finished. Not too big and actually quite easy to carry. And that is where my problems started. It all just seemed to nice, sterile & lightweight - it could have been worse of course - had it been on wheels (I've seen that before) I probably would have refused the job. I guess that for their purposes you'd want something that makes it easier to find a cross-carrying volunteer. I just think that's all too easy. In such litigious days it wouldn't make sense to have splintering heavy Oak - health & safety & all that.

As I started leading the procession, it occurred to me that I really wasn't worthy of such an honour. To represent Jesus in such a way with me being, well, me basically. Sure, I know that I'm made worthy through the very sacrifice I was representing, but it just felt an odd mixture of privilege, honour and maybe just a hint of feeling a fraud (emphasis on feeling, not believing).

As I was pondering this, it also occurred to me that in many ways I deserved to carry the cross. Not going to the opposite extreme, believing that I am as good as Jesus, but believing that as the cross represents death then that is what I deserve. The wages of sin is death and without the grace of God and the sacrifice of Jesus that is exactly what I'd deserve.

Thursday 13 March 2008

Sheep, snakes, doves & wolves

I'm continuing with my devotional studies that I started at the beginning of the year. No books or aids other than my NASB study Bible notes. Making my way through the Gospels to look more closely at what Jesus did & said. It really has been quite interesting, to the point where I have actually kept up with it, but seem to be making very slow progress as I'm taking just a few verses, sometimes just one, at a time.

I've been finding lots of those bits that I must have read a thousand times before but never noticed until now, or seen in a completely new way. This includes Matthew 10:16 which I was looking at last night. I tend to read as much as I think will give me thoughts to write to fill a page of my A5 page-a-day diary... This was a 1 verse special
"Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves; so be shrewd as serpents and innocent as doves."
This is not a 'new' passage - I've heard/read it many times before. But would we really be sent as sheep amongst wolves? That must surely be fatal? But maybe some of us will face a mauling in whatever way that may be? Maybe we need to be prepared to be that vulnerable?
It also looks like a heady mix of metaphors with 5 animals in 1 verse (if you have to ask about the hidden 5th animal, be prepared for typical appalling Dave Jones humour). I've often had this niggling problem with the idea of being 'shrewd as serpents'. It almost seems to imply a sneakiness which must surely be un-Godly. Especially as the serpent has such negative implications from the fall of man in Genesis. Not like dove-like innocence; that's an easy one. But giving it some real thought it seems that the shady biblical history of serpents may have skewed my word recognition.
"Shrewd: astute: marked by practical hardheaded intelligence; "a smart businessman"; "an astute tenant always reads the small print in a lease"
Shrewd is not really being sneaky like I may have assumed. Just clever or having your wits about you, but in combination with dove-like innocence.
So now that makes the sheep/wolf thing clearer - combining the serpent & dove aspects can make us less vulnerable when we go out amongst the wolves - but that won't ever make it less scary if we're doing right.